crapola

i don't want this blog to be the laurie complains at ridiculous hours of the night forum but that's what it's becoming so fuck off. this is why i keep my journals hidden away in secret places and never look at them again... i am trying to learn what HP wants for me and grow towards that, it is a miracle that i can even form sentences using these kinds of words today, much less actually trust & rely.

i feel like i've somehow skipped the 4th dimension entirely and been rocketed into bizarreoworld today. i've been having these crazy dreams about people i know and i wake up and feel differently about the them than i did when i went to bed. it's driving me crazy. i've always had trouble distinguishing between dreams and memories of actual experiences, but lately walking around in the world has been a constant case of deja vu. certain dreams trigger memories of other dreams stored way back in my brain from months/years ago and there seems to be this little world existing & functioning autonomously in my head where everything connects. i can take trains from one dream town to the next. i am sort of amazed at the images my brain can produce with little provocation and the affect these have on my waking life.